God Goons

“Dude you are always facing problems, everyday, it’s all because you don’t pray”,Mr.X my employer almost says that to me everyday.

Is he threatening me or is he just making a suggestion?

He was brought up in an affluent Islamic family by a single mom who pretty much made it so far without a man in her life, in a foreign land. She pulled through rooted in her strong beliefs and passed those beliefs on to them.Both he and his brother turned out to be fine young men, Mr.X rather immature at times however. I grew up a middle class Brahmin kid with religion all around me but none of those factors influencing me the way they were installed in Mr.X.

He asks me at times what do you believe in. I have no answer for him. He jokes the elephant god “Ganesha”?

The concept of 33 million gods is beyond his and my grasp.So i do not even bother explaining.What do we Hindus believe in really?Honestly, I really do not know.

Christians believe in Jesus, Muslims believe in Allah, What the fuck do I believe in?

Shiva ? Bramah ? Vishnu ? Ganesh ? Ram ? Krishna?

Who is my god?

This is too confusing, but I really do not need an answer neither.

He keeps pushing the ideology that all that he has is due to the blessing of god upon him and his family. Is it really? Isn’t it because you were born in a rich family and you have more time than I do to think about god? And isn’t the lack of anxiety and worry your reason of thanking god? Half the time that I am conscious, I am thinking of how to make that next bill and countless other things that make living a constant struggle for me. A lot of times I thought may be it is the lack of godly presence that has made me see these days of struggle and misfortune. Thus, I paused and I prayed. I closed my eyes and prayed. I cried in silence. But I am not as patient as I probably should have been, but the irony is, I begged ‘god’ for patience and strength to believe in him.

I respect an individual’s right to be religious and follow a lifestyle. But I do not believe hypocrites and these God Goons either. Who say they are on the road that god created for them and consciously veer on to allies commit their ‘sins’ and merge right back into that road like they never sidetracked. At least I do what I do and I have no regrets. I do not claim to be an atheist but I am yet to meet an individual or encounter anything that could inspire me to believe in the existence of god in a logical way, the way I crave to understand him in. Till then god remains in my intellectual curiosity and these fuckin’ God Goons keep on taunting me.